


Preventing 'Masks'

by DreamingQueen



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Character Death, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 17:06:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11628003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingQueen/pseuds/DreamingQueen
Summary: Finding a letter like that was what he had needed to realize his stupidity, and Yukio only hoped he managed to get to his older brother before he did something irreversible. He needed to apologize - needed to prove that he realized what he had done wrong and would give it his all to make things better. He would do everything - if he only didn't lose his brother.





	Preventing 'Masks'

„First and foremost, I want to apologize.“  
Those had been the words the letter had started with, and Yukio felt a cold shudder run down his spine.

“I want to apologize for killing our father, for failing to be an older brother for you, for being a burden.”  
The younger of the two had felt dread building up inside of him while reading that line, though he hadn’t been able to put his finger on why.

“I want you to know that I only ever wanted to be accepted – by you, by the other students. Everyone else really didn’t matter, but I also know that only that wish was already too much. Who could ever fully accept a half demon with Satans powers?”  
At those words Yukio had sat down and swallowed the lump in his throat with a sip of his cofe. It was just a normal apologize-letter, probably just things his brother wasn’t able to tell him face to face. He didn’t understand his own nervousness.

“I want you to know that I still kept on trying – and ended up being an even bigger bother to everyone. I got that when Shura used me as an example for what would happen when a demon as high leveled as me came in contact with holy water – all of the kinds there are, weak to strong yesterday morning.”  
They had done that? He hadn’t talked to Shura, hadn’t met her yet since two days ago because their schedules kept them from meeting, not that that really mattered. He wondered why she had done that, why the other students had let her do that.

“Even though she did say it was for training, I felt like that wasn’t true anymore afterwards. Not that it matters how I feel, but the burns do hurt pretty badly still.”  
So maybe that was why his older brother hadn’t been home since yesterday, hadn’t been in class this morning, and the other students had troubled looks on their faces. He wondered why no one had said anything.

“I get that you see me as a burden as well. I get that you have probably twice as much work because of me. And I get that wanting to be your older brother again is just a delusion.”  
He wondered what had made his brother write a letter and not come back to let his wounds treated, because while keeping on reading he had checked the nursery room. Nothing had been touched, and he could only hope that his brothers powers had healed him already.

“I get that you don’t want me, that you’re tied down by the promise you made with dad to protect me, that you would have so much less problems and so many more possibilities without me.”  
Yukio had grabbed his jacked while reading that, and put on his shoes.

“So that’s why I decided to leave.”  
He was out, running, looking everywhere his brain could come up with his brother could be.

“Don’t worry, I won’t just leave the dorm and the school and risk causing more trouble. There isn’t anywhere I could go, anyways.”  
He was sweating, and it was raining, and he wondered what that cliché was about, but he didn’t care at that moment. 

“I decided to leave this world.”  
He wondered what he had been doing all this time – he had wanted to protect his older brother like he had been protected when they had still been small, but had he succeeded?

“Do you think it’s too much to hope I’ll join dad?”  
No, he hadn’t, and he realized it now, too late, and he hoped so much that he could reach the other in time.

“Well, I guess it is. I’m a half demon. There’s no way I’ll be let in heaven.”  
He never really did believe in gods, which was odd in and of itself concidering he dealt with demons every day, but gods were a different story. Right now, though, he desperately hoped there was one who was hearing his prayers.

“I’m going to say stupid things now, but I want to. Don’t think this is your fault. Don’t let this influence your life – just forget me.”  
He was running through the forest now, and there was mud and dirt all over him, but he still couldn’t care less. Yukio just kept on running, searching.

“I get you know this already. I get you don’t really care. I just wanted to make sure. And… this is selfish, I know. But-“  
The rain was coming down heavier, and Yukio almost despaired, but then he saw a moving shape behind the curtain of water, and there was blue, and he was sure he’d never run so fast in his life before. He saw form stopping, the blue disappearing, something hitting the ground. 

“-I wish we could have been brothers again. I wish I never would have caused dad to die and you so much trouble. I’m sorry. I love you, little brother.”  
He skidded to a halt beside the form on the ground - there was red, and a tail, and the rain was blocking his view and wetting his glasses so he couldn't see really well. He knelt down, smelling the blood even through the rain, all his sences on high alert, and his heart was hammering in his chest. No, no it couldn't be - the tail was the first thing he held in his hand when he tried to grab on to something, and - it was black, and thin, and bushy at the end, and a choking fear grabbed hold of him, preventing him from breathing and he felt like his hear was going to jump out of his body.

"...Nii-...san..?" He let his hands wander above the ground, searching, being able to grab hold of something clothed. "This- I was... too late - really, no- this can't..." the limb he had been holding slipped from his shaking hands. "No- no no no no - this isn't - I never wanted this-" Tears were falling down now, though they mixed with the rain and were invisible to anyone else than himself - he didn't care though. "..protect you, promised, I wanted to - I failed, you, your feelings - I - Nii-san...!" Through the rain he spotted a sword sticking out vertically from the body laying on the ground. "-That's why, the flames - Kurikara - no...Nii-san -!" A scream tore from his throat, even more tears streaming down his face. So many thoughts were running through his head - how he failed, what he should have done instead of the errors he commited - how he basically was the one who killed his brother, and there was nothing he could do now anymore because he was dead - the thought wrecked a shockwave through his body and he became nauseus, still crying but Holding a hand over his mouth as to not throw up. "Nii-san... Nii-san...!" he trembled, every ounce of energy and willpower leaving his body. "Rin!" An other scream, falling on dead ears, and Yukio really didn't know what to do from now on. Live? After what he had done? ...No, he shouldn't - he lost his dad, and now his one and only twin, and it was his fault -  
He grabbed the hilt of the sword stuck in the body on the ground, brain not working anymore, all he was able to think on being his older brother -

"Yuio?!"  
The sword was torn from his hand - did he have hallucinations now?  
"Oi, the hell are you doing sitting on the ground crying beside that demon I just managed to kill-"  
That voice - demon he managed to kill -  
"Hey, you listening? The hell, did you eat something strange? Did some demon cast some sort of spell on you or something like that? The hell were you going to do with that sword just now?!"  
"Nii-san...?"  
"Yeah, yeah I heard you - you were saying my name enough already - I just had to check whether I really got all the demons I was assigned to defeat around here-"  
"Demons - assigned to defeat-?!"  
"Well, yeah - I thought you came here because Mephisto informed you about the Mission he gave me yesterday?" Rin paused, huffing. "I got it, I only burned one tree - so leave it! I can do things on my own-"  
"Rin..." The rain had started getting less, and after whiping his glasses with his sleeve - though it didn't do too much - he was able to definitely make out the figure of a demon on the ground and his brother standing beside him. “Nii-san!” Yukio sprang up, engulving the other in a hug, grabbing him strongly, sobbing, tears still not ending. “It’s not- your fault – really, just…!”  
“Yukio…?”  
“Listen, Nii-san-“ He was having a hard time catching his breath, but he didn’t have time to relax. “I thought I was doing the right thing by not telling you things, I thought I was protecting you, you didn’t just cause me trouble because if I never would have wanted to protect you I could have just not cared and not done any work because of you at all-“  
“Yukio-?”  
“Dads death isn’t your fault, I know you must have been shocked and unable to think rationally after getting thrown into a world of demons so abruptly, I know you said it without thinking when he wanted to throw you out, I know if that would have been a normal fight between normal people you would have gotten along again in no time, I know you didn’t want to kill him –“  
“Hey, what are you-“  
“I’ll scold Shura for what she did yesterday morning, for what the students let happen, I’ll scold them too, they’ll regret it – and I regret not talking to you as well-“  
“Wait, I can’t – what are you saying?!”  
“I regret-“ He grabbed the other by his shoulders, looking him in the eyes, dead serious. “I regret acting on my own thoughts without talking to you about it, without properly considering your feelings, without asking you even once! I regret not being able to accept you completely that easily, but I want to give it my best and properly try now, and I want to talk to you again, I want to have my big brother back – I know I was the one who ruined our relationship, but I thought it was what had to be done in order to protect you –“  
“Wait, Yukio-“  
“I still love you, you’re still my big brother, I’m so sorry for all the foolish things I just did on my own until now, I really will try to better myself, so please forgive me..!”  
“…I… What’s that, all of a sudden?” Rins eyes were shadowed, a troubled smile on his face. “I …How do you know all of this, why did you suddenly say all of this?”  
“Because, your letter-“  
“Letter?” he looked at the other questioningly, reading over the letter once they found shelter from the rain underneath a tree.  
“I… I never wrote this.”  
“What – but-!”  
“I … I mean, those are thoughts I had, but I never wrote this-“  
“So all of this is true?!”  
“…” Rin froze, looking away. “I’m fine with being hated and made fun of, distrusted – as long as everyone else is well and alive to express these feelings –“  
“No, Nii-san, please don’t say that. I’ll show you this isn’t how it’s supposed to be, so.. please, don’t leave me as well…!”  
“I wasn’t planning to. Wait - so you crying back there - you mistook that demon for me?! I don't look like that-!"  
"I know, but I couldn't see very well in the rain, and I feared to find something like that the most so I just-"  
"I get it already, calm down... but... Like I said, I didn’t write this. I mean, it does look like my penmanship, but…”  
“…Still…” Yukio shook his head. “I… I can’t believe something like this was what I needed to realize all of this. I failed you, and dad, and…. I hurt you a lot, if those really were thoughts you had-“  
“Yukio, I get it, I screwed up daily so I am the one to blame-“  
“I won’t let you say something like that anymore.”  
“…Well…” He couldn’t deny the sternness in his brothers voice and expression, the honesty. “..but…”  
“No buts.” He grabbed his brother again, stearnly, not about to let him go but not hurting him with his grip either, and he hoped he could convey his emotions right. “I realized. I know, too late, and with something like this needed, but..” He paused, shaking his head. “I’m thankful for that letter. I’m thankful I finally got it, and I finally got it before anything bad happened –“  
“That- but what is this letter? Who wrote it, why…?”  
“I don’t know, but frankly, I don’t need to know. If it was an enemy trying to lure me in some sort of trap then I’ll be careful for the rest of the day, but if it was an ally-“  
“Wait, there’s no way anyone would know –“ he paused, a memory flooding back into his mind. The mission he had been assigned to the day before during noon on the roof of his dorm, the questions that had been asked, the wired look he had received, the feeling of something happening in his gut he had trampled in order to concentrate on his mission.  
“Nii-san?”  
“That – could he possibly…have done…”  
“Nii-san, are you all right?”  
“Hey – I wasn’t done with my mask yet, that’s why-“  
“Mask? What are you talking about – wait. Moreover… You were trying – thinking about creating…!?”  
“Y-Yukio…?”  
“Nii-san… We need to talk. A lot, long, and about so many things…”  
“Wait Yukio, this really isn’t any of your buisnes-“  
“That’s what my own brother says to me?” The glasses wearing boy paused, a determined look in his eyes. “Well, I guess I was the one who screwed up in the first place, anyways. All right, then. I’ll make you believe in us being brothers again – in you being the older one, but I’ll also make you believe you can rely on me from time to time as well..” The boy paused once again, took a step to get closer to the half demon and started undressing his upper body.  
“Wai- Oi, what are you doing-!?”  
“The holy water.”  
“What?”  
“In the letter, there was some holy water mentioned that Shura tried out on you to show which effects it had on demons – it was written that it still hurt. Show me – I grabbed supplies to treat your wounds. I am a doctor.”  
“N- no, that’s – that was what she’s planning on doing tomorrow during the lesson, so there’s no injurie like that-“  
“Mh?” Yukio had managed to unbotten the others shirt only to see that he had said the truth. “But you were absent today –“  
“Because of the mission.”  
“The other students looked all really troubled when I asked if anyone knew something, since you didn’t even come back yesterday night I thought you had spent the night somewhere else-“  
“Well, the mission did start yesterday evening, since I had to track these demons, and that’s why I didn’t come home – Mephisto said he would tell you! And I don’t know what was up with the others!”  
“So maybe they just looked troubled because they all thought you were skipping, or you were in some sort of trouble, or they were worried?”  
“…No one would be, not about me.” Rin re-buttoned his shirt. “No one even really noticed me not being there-“  
“I did. I did notice you weren’t coming home yesterday evening, but like I said – since you had mentioned you were going to study with someone during the morning I just thought you stayed over in their room as well-“ He should have done something against that. They all lived in dorms, as a teacher, even if he just thought so, he should have checked and make Rin come back to their room. “…I’m an idiot. I admit it. I was so annoyed by the meeting I had yesterday afternoon that I didn’t want anyone or anything near me, so I just left you. I didn’t really think about it too much. I screwed up, and I failed you.”  
“Yukio?”  
“But it’s like I said. I’ll prove it to you. The next time I’m annoyed by something or someone I’ll tell you, or if I’m bothered by something, and the next time there is something up with you I will act on it, and not just leave you to it, and I will try to be more aware of how you feel, and I will try to take that into concideration-“  
“Hey. You weren’t like this before. What’s up with that, just because you thought I’d kill myself?”  
“Yes.” He took a deep breath. “Because that reminded me that I shouldn’t you still being here take for granted, and that I shouldn’t just let everything out on you because I could hurt you.” He looked around, noticing it had stopped raining. “Let’s go home. I need to prepare for tomorrow, you still have homework – I’ll give you what you missed today. And I need to talk with Shura. If I can’t get a hold of her today I’ll come with you to class tomorrow.”  
“What-“  
“She is not going to knowingly injure my half-demon brother with holy water.”

Rin shuddered at the anger in Yukios eyes, wondering what had gotten into him, and how much of what he had said was true.  
He followed the other back to their dorm, back to their room, only to be instructed to realx and gather back his energy and then do his schoolwork either today when he felt better or tomorrow, Yukio was even willing to help him.  
On their way Rin could have sworn he sensed someone watching them for a moment, but the feeling disappeared and since he hadn’t seen anything he forgot about it.  
Maybe he could let his brother try, maybe he could be open to some change. If nothing changed, nothing worked, then he could still finish his mask if he needed to. 

 

“Well, that was close...” Mephisto watched the twins leave from his position behind a couple of trees in his flying chair. “Good thing I noticed. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if Satans son of all beings to get depressed.” The green hamster climbed onto his shoulder. “That’s right, brother. I was getting tired of these humans attitudes as well. Good thing that even though the voice coming out of his mouth was lying, his body was really bad at it. That misunderstanding with the other dead demon was quiet amusing, though... Well, unforseen things can lead to things getting even better~.” The hamster squeaked, and Mephisto grinned. “Well, he is our brother. We should do him something good, once in a while. He should see it as payment for the missions he will have to do soon…” The hamster squeaked again. “Well, of course. That is my way to train him, after all. Humans should know demons are strong – and, in his case, respect him for that. Not fear him.” An other squeak. “What, you got a better idea?” Silence. “Well, I thought so.” He grinned, tapping his hat back a little. “Off to the bureau. His ‘training regime’ shouldn’t be easy, after all. I’ll have to plan a lot.”  
With that, the demon snipped his fingers and disappeared in a cloud of pink smoke.

**Author's Note:**

> I guess this is kind of an alternate storyline of my other story, 'Masks'.  
> I do not know, though, if the tags are okay like that. I mean - there is death, but there also isn't, right? XDD  
> Suggest better tags if you know some, please? XD  
> You don't need to read that to understand this one here better, though. Of course, would be happy if you did, but well. XD  
> This was just an idea sitting in my head, so I thought I'd write it and post it - I had some time, and this didn't take too long.  
> I hope you enjoyed, Feedback always appreciated. ^.^/~


End file.
